I didn't post last week so here is a little update on how it went. Week 10! Monday was horrible for Josh....very very homesick.....tues-fri went great! It's pretty much like that every week. You think I would be use to it by now....but I'm not. It's hard to hear him missing us, hard to watch the boys cry for him, hard to try and put a huge smile on my face when most of the time I want to give up. This is not getting easier but its still due able. Nothing about not having my Husband around is fun. I am so thankful we are almost half way done. If there wasn't an end in sight I don't think I could do it anymore. We both have to remind each other that its only 6 months and pretty soon we will be to the half way point! Yay! So a funny story last week. When Josh got back to his room and started to unpack his bag he found a little surprise. :) L decided to pack lightning McQueen and Mater for daddy! hahaha We are so thankful they didn't have a room inspection on Mon. I could just see it now. Josh getting in trouble for having toys in his room. hahaha We were smarter this week and kept Josh's bag out of reach. :)
So we are staring week 11. Yesterday was Josh's birthday. We had a pretty good weekend. Once again crazy busy with way too much to do. Never enough time. It's getting pretty exhausting saying the same thing every weekend, "next weekend we will be better and get up earlier so I (Josh) will have more time to play with the boys." It's a constant battle weekend after weekend.......it's sooooo hard say no to S when he is begging daddy to play with him but the sad reality is theres just not enough time to do it all. We didn't have time to go to church again this weekend but we went anyway because we didn't go last weekend because we didn't have time. It's crazy because you think well hes home all weekend.....but really he's not. Really being home is just a distraction. He really needs to study more, practice more, prepare for the week better. I'm worried. I don't want Josh to "just" graduate. I want him to feel as prepared as possible when he gets on the road. He feels the same way. We both feel we need to be better. We need to work harder. It just sucks to sacrifice more time than what we already do. It sucks that I don't really have a husband right now anyway and the tiny bit of time that I do I need to give it up. I have to remind myself that we can still do chp work together so technically we are still spending time together just not the way we would prefer. It's a battle we are trying to figure out. Trying to find a healthy balance. We don't want to say no to family and friends but we cant keep doing what we are doing. Josh didn't get back to the academy until 11:30 last night because he still had so much to do. He cant do that! He prob only got 4 hrs of sleep which isn't unheard of during the week but on a Sunday night there is no reason for that. He needs his sleep. I love him coming home every weekend but I'm starting to wonder if it's the best thing for him. We always over commit ourselves and Sunday afternoon we are going crazy trying to get it all done. Feeling rushed, emotional and just completely overwhelmed. I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm tired. All in all though we are still doing good. It's just not fun and some adjusting needs to be made. *sigh* It's just hard! I'm sorry if this post seems like I'm just complaining.......well I pretty much am. It's really all going to be OK. It's not the end of the world and we will get through this and figure it out. Theres a lot to be grateful for. A lot of good has already come out of this situation and we look forward to the blessings it will bring in the future. It's just a season in our lives and it too shall pass. :) I'm hopeful and know that we are in good hands. We just want to make sure we are giving it our all and doing our part too! Prayers much needed for both of us to be better. Thank you.
With Love,
Trina
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